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Friday, December 31, 2010

I Am Not Excited About a New Year

A normal day if I were an evil  monkey clown.


As I sit at my keyboard looking back at the great abyss of time that we call 2010 I realize that I am not that excited about a New Year pushing itself upon me once again. This is not a somber feeling or wistful in the least bit but instead it simply has to do with having had such a fantastic year that I do not want it to end.

My year consisted of living in fly over country, the west coast and the east coast. I married the woman of my dreams and have even learned how to drop my "R"s like a real Yankee. I decided that I will not do the Boston accent though because it does make one sound like they had a stroke and cannot pronounce their words correctly.

My life has been a total adventure with the highest highs and the lowest lows..... well actually I had no really super bad things happen but it sounds better if I say something about the lows. I saw Crater Lake, the Giant Redwoods, Salem (the witch place) actually more things then many people see in a life time. I ate Elk, Yard Clams, Boiled Dinners, Fresh Lobster, Green Eggs, Squirrel Sausage, Chicken fried in Butter and so many other things.

Books, books and more books and I am not even what I would call an author. I joined ranks to work like a dog for a Theater Group and even met a woman who is sure she talks to ghost on a daily basis.

The simple fact is that I am living a life that most people only dream of having and I really do not want a new year to get in the way because it means I will have to work extra hard to have experiences that even come close to what I have had this year.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Evil Jewish Conspiracy?




If you came here to read about someone smashing the skulls of evil Jews then you probably will be disappointed. The fact is that Jews are not some evil race out to get the rest of us but instead are just people, some good some bad. An example of a good person with Jewish blood I would have to say, most obvious, Jesus. Then of  course there are Jews that are vile, the first one that comes to mind is Kenny G. I am not sure he is evil but his music sounds evil to me.


I am currently residing in a community where almost half of the citizens consider themselves of Jewish blood or faith. The thing I have found most interesting about this is that there is a Christmas Parade, Christmas Walk and a Christmas tree, nowhere is there a guy called Holiday Claus.People actually respect other peoples faiths. I am sure that there are a few Christians and Jews that are evil to others who do not believe like themselves but it is rare and not seen.

Talking with people around these parts (that is a phrase that should make my Yankee friends cringe) I have found that the people who are the most adamant about Christ being removed from Christmas tends to be people who claim to not believe in any God. They  explain that the reason they are so vocal is to protect the poor Jews from having to see a Christmas tree or a manger scene even suggesting that the mean old Christian would fall apart if they stumbled upon a menorah.

Lets get this straight, the problem is not the Jews or Christians nor does is seem to be a problem with Muslims. The problem seems to come from people who claim there is no God and then run around hysterical when they are confronted with any image of another persons faith. Are they scared? who knows but they sure scream like they are.

I think it is time for people who say there is no God to actually act like it. Most adults do not believe in a Santa Claus but we allow children to go on with their belief. That is all most people are asking of you, do not cower in fear and try to remove any symbol of Christ from Christmas and then claim that you are doing it for other people. You have become the new Flat Earth people, you are so fearful of what may be true that you want to destroy any evidence or anything that goes against your own belief.

I know that this type of blog is the kind that fills my email box with tons of nasty letters, some just telling me off and others claiming that they will get me kicked off the internet or put in jail..... I think I can handle that because a baby in a manger scene makes you cry in fear while I can handle it with no problem.

Friday, December 10, 2010

How to Fall in Love ..... and even survive it



I use to be like every guy since the day Adam showed up on planet Earth, if a girl winked at me and flirted even a bit then I was positive that I was in love. If men were honest (thankfully we are not) then we would let the women know how much control they have over our mind, body and soul. I had been in a state of what most people call love several times a day for many years. It sounds a bit chaotic but we guys have learned to deal with it.. This might explain why guys think every waitress, female coworker and even the girls on TV commercials love us.

Does that sound egotistical? nah... just being a guy.

In the last year or so I have made a discovery that will absolutely floor guys if they are able to grasp even a bit of the truth. Women are more like us then what we understand. Women actually are human and not just something God made for our entertainment. The biggest secret? A woman can be your best friend.

Over the last couple of years I became best friends with a young lady. It grew from talking about simple everyday things and moved to family and children and then on to our intimate feelings about life itself. Before I knew it she had become my closest and dearest friend. I still did not think of her as a romantic option because who could ever date their best friend? During this time after every failed attempt at romance I would always discuss the ups and downs with her, my best friend.

The revelation came to me one day when a friend announced that he was going to marry his best friend. The immediate thought that ran through my head was that I had no idea he was gay because you know that every guys best friend is another guy. It all made sense once he mentioned his best friends name, he was going to marry his best friend, a woman who was his friend both when he was brilliant and when he was stupid.

Since I tend to have many stupid moments and I mean MANY stupid moments, I realized that romance alone would not bring a good love life. I needed to look where men would normally avoid. I HAD to look at my true friends. Judy, now my fiance, fit the bill perfectly. She was the person I told all of my secrets to, she was the one that no matter what I did she would stand by my side. Judy was my best friend.

To simplify this whole concept...... if you are dating just to date then go after any girl that will swallow your lies. This is another big secret, guys do not tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth when they are romancing a girl.

If you are looking for a true love, one that is bound in love of the person then look at your true friends.

I was just lucky enough that my best friend and true love turned out to be a hot babe as well. I hope the rest of you guys are lucky enough to find your love to be your best friend.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

What I Want For Christmas



So the year 2010 has brought me much joy and much sorrow.... actually very little sorrow but people will figure out I am egotist if I do not add the sorrow part. We all are collectively heading towards the greatest day of the year, Christmas. I know that some people will be upset and even lob threats at me for using such a vile word as Christmas but at this point in my life I think I can handle it. This makes me think of what a fully grown man would want on Christmas Day.

I assume I should say world peace, jobs for all or maybe Hollywood releasing one decent movie but actually I have given up on those fairy tales. This year I am going to be completely selfish, like that will surprise anyone. I am going to shoot for another monkey. PLEASE NOTE.... I did not say "shoot another monkey".

A young lady down the street gave me this fabulous prize seen in the above picture being modeled with my beautiful fiance and I think the boy is a little lonely. So if you are a bit strange, have a little money to spare then please mail me a live monkey quick. It would even be better if you could email me the live monkey because I would get it sooner.

If you have read this bizarre blog to the end I would love to send you a discount code to our books. This includes the new book that has everyone buzzing about what appears to be our current president but was written 30 years ago. Email me the request to fmcd2010@gmail.com

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Heart Walk 2010-2011 Boston, MA








On September 3, 2005 my husband, Jim, passed away in his sleep. This was one day after his 45th birthday. He left me with two young daughters who were 15 and just shy of 12 on that day. After 7 months of waiting we were finally informed, by the medical examiner, that he had passed away because of Hypertensive Cardiovascular Disease. This occurred as a result of untreated high blood pressure. In the years that have followed my girls have grown and blossomed into wonderful young ladies that want to spread the word about this disease. The way that they have decided to do this is to walk in this years Heart Walk in Boston, Mass.

The easiest way for you to help fight heart disease and stroke is to make a donation to this worthy cause. Any amount, no matter how large or small will be used to make a great difference in the life of someone. If we can save one person's life so that their children do not have to suffer the same kind of loss that these girls did, it will be well worth it.

This is the link to my oldest daughter's page. If you could make a donation it will mean so very much to so very many people.

http://heartwalk.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=331275&lis=1&kntae331275=D54507AA360940CE987DDF88D2AC4011&supId=294829881

Thank you so much,

Judy

Friday, August 13, 2010



Someone made a comment to me recently that we ALL have a provocative story to tell,
and it got me thinking .
Do we "ALL" Have a story?
One that will capture and freeze its readers with its honestly, with its proclamations?
 
The answer, in this author's 'humble' opinion is NO.
While we may all have bits and pieces of interesting and/or mundane information to share,
hot and cold snippets of something or other, my story distinguishes itself from the others
because it is "telling".
It is gutsy and off-colour, a tad blasphamous perhaps.
 It is audacious and painfully honest, in the way that it cuts to the chase.
The way that it takes no prisoners.
My story will bring about discomfort and disconcerting feelings in the reader.
It will make them cry, because it allows the space and luxury in which to feel pain.
A way to empathize and sympathize with me.
My story will remind the reader of things they have buried deep down into the recesses of their memory.
My story will make them question themselves.
My story will make them question God.
My story will question the basic human condition.
 
My name is Toby Gotesman Schneier and this is my story.
 
It spans decades and lifetimes.
From Nazi Germany, to the hallowed White House halls.
From the posh Upper East Side of Manhattan, to the Great Pacific Northwest.
 
It examines man's culpability and intrinsic nature.
It examines both the good and bad that we, as humans, wrestle with on a perpetual basis.
 
I hope to point out that which is conspicuous, yet somehow ignored.
Things that are known, yet unidentified.
 
Toby
 
 
 
( Watch for Toby's book coming soon from EMP)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

How a Teen Became a Professional Editor and Traditionally Published Author




About eight years ago, an eleven-year-old girl was immersed in a children’s favorite: Harry Potter. Her favorite place to read? A leather couch in the living room. It was a reading place she shared with her younger sister, Nicole. She read aloud to her sister, who had her own stories to share. Only Nicole’s stories were from no fiction book. Her imagination wove adventures from the heart and inspired the elder sister to try her hand at a few tales of her own.

The sisters shared a love of fantasy. Dragons, aliens, mystical artifacts played with their minds. So the eleven year old plopped down at her computer, fingers at the keys, and created a series of short stories for herself and her sister. One tale followed another, but every story plunged the sisters into the adventures of a girl who discovered a magical pocket watch that teleported her to alien planets.

It wasn’t long before the story was complete and gathering dust on a lonely shelf. Perhaps it would have stayed that way forever, but fate in the form of a seventh grade language arts teacher intervened. One day the students received an assignment: compose a story, type it up, print it out, and bring it to class. Make it two pages. Maybe three, if you’re particularly daring. And the elder sister came up with a devious plot.

She would bring the series of short stories to class.

Brushing off her dust collection, she came to class the following day with a fifty-page manuscript in hand. Incredulous but equally impressed, her teacher suggested a ‘novel’ concept: getting published.
This is how my adventure began.

Describing a teen author of three novels with a fourth in the works might encourage words like “fate” and “talent” to be tossed around. Negative on both counts, Captain. Like everything else it takes time to get good at (music, sports, guzzling a Coke bottle without coming up for air), writing takes practice and perseverance. Day in and day out. Email after story after poem.

Nah. Scratch the “poem” thing. I’ll be the first to admit I can’t write a poem to save my life. That’s where my now thirteen-year-old sister comes in. Nicole chants poems in her sleep. Her acrostic poem picture book, Ronnie and BB, even won the Georgia Author of the Year Award.
Talk about a way with rhyme and reason.

But I’m trying to learn. Working on making each word in each line of each stanza count. Because after self-publishing my very first book, The Pocket Watch, I discovered you can’t be quick to the finish with anything. Old lesson: slow and steady. I was determined to write another novel. A refreshing plunge into realistic fiction with maybe just a hint of magic thrown in for flavor. Because unlike Nicole, I like my ice cream as ice cream and not a speck of white under a pound of pepper. Quite a true story from a birthday party a few years back . . .

Anyway, that’s why my next novel, eventually titled Dream Saver, explored my own life. Many of the characters were inspired from the real lives of my friends. Inspiration lives in everything we do. Everything we touch. We see. We experience. Parallel to a very real struggle, Dream Saver follows the quest of teenager Taylor Creekmore as she battles against all odds to save a loved one.

To publish my second book, I decided to find a traditional publisher. So I scoured the Internet to learn more about the publishing business. Scrolled through listings of publishers and literary agents interested in my genre. Wrote and printed dozens of query letters and mailed them out. Two hundred and fifty rejections and many months later, I breathed a sigh of resignation and accepted my fate: failure.
But Nicole was not ready to see me give up. She convinced me to press on and never lose hope. Resolved in a new direction, I read about a national short story contest with a recently founded publishing company. Entering on Nicole’s encouragement, I won first place and asked the publisher to take a look at Dream Saver. The publisher read the book, enjoyed the story, and decided to publish the novel. The novel was a success and sold over 45,000 copies.

Yet another lesson: 45,000 copies sold but primarily not through bookstores. Brick and mortar and online stores are great, but publicizing your work means getting your books into the hands of readers. Marketing for me meant connecting with my community. To this day, I regularly visit elementary and middle schools to share my experiences as a teen published author. I also lead writer’s workshops at libraries to help and encourage others to set out on their own publishing quests.

Ah. Speaking of quests, my passion for writing at fourteen, the year Dream Saver was published, was only beginning to flame. It had been four years since I wrote my first book, so I went back to read it. Then I stared at the pages for a good long while. And decided I could do better. For through the story fascinated me, I wanted to go deeper into the adventures of the girl and her pocket watch. One of the highlights of my life so far? Highlighting The Pocket Watch in a Microsoft Word document and hitting delete. And starting over again.

Because at age fifteen, I decided to transform my original novel into a trilogy, The Galacteran Legacy. The first book in the new series is Galaxy Watch, which tells the story of ordinary Earth girl Nicole Sky who never dreams that the golden pocket watch she discovers one summer day will change her life forever. Only when Nicole—by no coincidence also the name of my sister—finds herself on a hostile alien planet and in the midst of a war does she realize Earth has a deadline.

And so we come to the interesting bit. How does a girl fresh out of high school and heading into college become Editor-in-Chief of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Futuristic at a traditional publishing company?
Here’s a secret: Writing involves rewriting. A ton of it. My third novel was typed up in a year. That means two years of throwing out chunks of manuscript and even rewriting the whole thing from scratch twice. You get real good real quick at editing that way (minor grammar issues intended). And when I saw FutureWord Publishing advertising for a science-fiction editor in May 2009, I submitted an application. Only it wasn’t one involving essays and a resume. They were primarily interested in how potential editors corrected five sample pages with known errors. And guess who caught them all.

Truth be told, they were pretty shocked when I admitted to being a teen without a college degree (yet). But here’s the second secret: After editing my own novels, I become a freelance editor on Guru.com. By the time I applied for a professional editing position, I had already edited seventeen novels by other author. All were books that later found homes in publishing companies.

Moral of the story? Thomas Edison had it right on the money when he said “Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration.” Working hard and always dreaming of a brighter future will open doors to opportunity. Just keep looking for those portals.

Signing off,

~Michelle Iz . . . oh! Hang on. I knew I’d forget something. As a special bonus, included below is the opening of that novel in the works I mentioned earlier. It’s a tale of racing and romance set in a futuristic world. Enjoy and feel free to leave comments and questions!

Nowsigning off,

~Michelle Izmaylov


Chapter One
Speed. In Detroit Ƶ, it’s every child’s primal instinct. Because if you’re racing and feel in control, you’re just not going fast enough. Though with fifty miles to go and the brakes giving out, stomping down the gas might not be one of my better ideas.

As I take a turn, I stamp on the pedal anyway.
Inside my car, the temperature easily tops 100 degrees. The earlier lead car was collected in a tangle of steel and tires ten minutes back. The current lead’s only ahead by a few seconds. As long as I don’t blow a tire, I might just stand a chance.

One more lap. Thirty more miles. The lead stops to refuel, and I get ahead by fifteen seconds. I check the rearview mirror, but there’s only his car in pursuit. The other racers are somewhere behind us in the underground tunnels.

Ten miles to the finish, I take a turn too fast and grind against the wall. Sparks spray from the tires. A side-view mirror is mangled into shreds. I swerve back on course, but I’ve lost my advantage. My car shudders as I’m bumped from behind. The other driver tries to pass me, but I slam sideways into him and lock us both into a slide towards the steel tunnel wall.

Two other racers have now caught up, but our struggling cars are hidden behind a turn. They stampede into us at they take the corner. One flips over my car and smashes into the windshield. I stomp the pedals to escape from the growing pile of cars. Naturally, I only succeed in feeding the fire that’s started on my car.
Flames lick up from my engine. The smell of thick smoke and burning wires is suffocating. Another car runs into us and flips over, going at least 200 miles an hour upside down before smashing into the opposing wall.

Another car suddenly blasts into mine. It rams in my rear and sends me spinning across the track. Now my car’s not much but a hunk of metal scattered with ugly dents. But I’m free, out of the pile of cars. And I’m back on course again.

I rumble across the track. One foot’s mashing the gas while the other’s busy stamping on the growing flames on the floor and dashboard. A turn grows in the distance. I stop stepping on the fire long enough to hit the brake and send my car into a slide around the corner.

The finish line’s a long stretch of road ahead. I gun towards it at 150 miles per hour as flames curl up towards the steering wheel. And my pants are seriously about to catch fire.

The second I cross the finish in the lead, I trample the brake and leap out, making a run for it. Flowers catch fire as they rain over my car, which has come to a rest in victory lane. I run, eyes closed, absorbing the glory. My hands are shaking with exhaustion, but I’ve won. I’ve won.


I wish.

( I would like to make it clear that while Michelle wrote this I had to do some cutting and pasting to post this article. This may have caused some errors in the format. If you find one then please do not assume it is Michelle's fault, just blame me.) Michael R. Henson

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Freedom - Billy Bones

Thanks for listening to my song "Freedom"! I have never been an activist, but 2010's extremes were a wake up call to the past decades of government corruption, unsustainable spending, taxation, and abandonment of the US Constitution. Do you accept the rewriting and falsification of history and science to advance political agendas? Do you feel your freedom being taken away bit by bit? Do you see the government growing more corrupt as it grows in power? I have written this song to outline these and other issues. My humble hope is that it will energize and inspire all who listen to become aware of the facts, to know true history, and to peacefully act, holding our government accountable to the Constitution. Let's unite with all we have to resist this destructive trend toward collectivism which fails and enslaves wherever it is tried.

United with you!

Billy Bones

Freedom! © 2010 Billy Bones http://www.bonesfreedom.com/

Tellin' the truth! We'll enlighten, threaten us but we're not frightened
Mighty God help, ain't gonna give in, we won't relent until we live in

Freedom! It's a new day comin' yeah! Freedom! It's time for truth! Freedom! Liberty and Freedom!

Always in a hurry you say we need it, you won't even take the time to read it
We can't pay, you print and borrow, just to buy votes that you need tomorrow

We will reveal your back room dealing, bribery manipulation stealing
Taking us in the wrong direction, gonna shine the light on your deception!

Freedom! What we all need I say! Freedom! Power to the people! Freedom! Taking back our Freedom!

Shame on us, we've been complacent, heaven help this prodigal nation
Don't miss the chance to avoid disaster, don't let the government be your master!

Scientist falsify information, textbook history imitation
This inconvenient song will expose you, showin' the truth to those who chose you

Counterfeit love and fake compassion, see the people wakin' up to action
Young and old struggle for survival, we will defend them in this revival!

Freedom! Rockin' the world yeah! Freedom! See the eagle fly now! Freedom! Taking back our Freedom!

Can't defend your radical mission, you try to silence the opposition
People in the street, can't ignore us, now until forever you will hear our chorus!

Freedom! What we all need I say! Freedom! Comin' to the power! Freedom! Takin' back our freedom!

Try to distract, avoid confrontation, easy on the enemy, weaken our nation
Disregard for our constitution, hear us comin' with a revolution!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Under God yeah! Freedom! In humility! Freedom! Comin' to the power! Freedom! It's time for truth! Freedom! Love your neighbor! Freedom! Here we come I say! Freedom! So come on, take it! Freedom! Speak truth to power! Freedom! See the eagle fly now! Freedom! Freedom! 

National Anthem Performed by Billy Bones at Sun Life Stadium in Miami

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Special Guest Blogger Joe Young



Upstate New York born and bred, Ava Aston once again splashes onto the scene with her smooth, slightly blues-y voice, this time with patriotic song about "We, the People".

Right at a time when Americans are asking themselves, "What next?", Ava answers the question before it's asked.

With a groove that pulls you in, this song has you listening for more...and you will want more.

America is on the move and this song is an anthem to take the country back from those who would take us in a direction we are not interested in going.

"We, the People", anthem for Election Year 2010.

 

Friday, July 9, 2010

A Secret Agent, Flying, Ninja Monkey



All of my friends know that I have always wanted a small army of Secret Agent, Flying, Ninja monkeys to help me take over the world. I fully understand that this is just a fantasy because we all know that the CIA would not allow monkeys into their organization.

I was asked what I wanted for my birthday (AUGUST 3rd) by a couple of young ladies who are daughters of a friend of mine. The youngest being 10 fully understood my fascination with wanting this odd creature. She is sure that if she could get her hands on a monkey that she could teach it to be a secret agent and a Ninja as well but has doubts about her ability to teach it to fly. She does think that I can teach it to fly because I can float in the air (this is a whole other story).

Judy, this young lady, her sister, her friend and her mother were out yesterday running errands, the mother ran into a store leaving Judy and the young lasses in the car. The girl with her big bright eyes looked at Judy and asked when my birthday was. Judy, responded AUGUST 3rd and the girl informed her that Judy needed to buy a monkey because "We are running out of time to teach it everything".

There were other problems that had to be taken care of as well. There was also the need for a ninja mask and a tuxedo. When her friend added they should also purchase   a cape for my monkey, my young friend explained that there was no need to get a cape because " it is a Secret Agent, Ninja and not a super hero".

I am excited that last night we went to their house for a cookout the girls told me excitedly that they knew what I was getting for my birthday. I really am hoping that it is a pre-trained Secret Agent, Flying, Ninja Monkey even if I have to be the one that teaches it how to fly.

Did I mention that my birthday is August the 3rd?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Art of Eating Sea Bugs



I was born in the great state of Oklahoma which means I know little about the art of lobster eating. I had a few surprises when I went to the dock to pick up food for a gathering of friends on Monday night. I do understand that people who live on the New England Coast may find some of these odd but please remember that not only have I not lived in lobster territory but I also very seldom eat shellfish in the first place.

1) Lobsters are not considered alive if you have to poke them with a stick to get them to move.

2)  It is best to boil them BEFORE putting them on the table.

3) Do NOT and I mean do NOT unband the claws before cooking them.

4) When you separate the tail from the body, no matter what people say, the green stuff that shoots out is NOT guacamole.

5) This one actually works better then what the New Englanders do. It is easier to crack the claws by putting them on the ground and stomping on them then it is to use a "cracker"

I may not be the smartest or the best looking guy in the world but I now have some special knowledge on how to eat the creature that looks like a Sea Bug. Judy, her daughters, mother and our friends did laugh at me through the whole meal but I would have to say that through all of the laughter they also took the time to teach me what to do.

I cannot wait till I eat the creepy looking things again.... maybe in a couple of years.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Latest Rumors




Even if you live a boring life there will be someone who has one even more mundane then yourself. This is one of those areas that I find funny because the same people who spread rumors and claim to have inside information do so hoping to make people think they are hep and cool when in reality everyone knows that THEY are the ones who live a life that nobody else would want.

Checking around with my friends I have gathered the best of the latest rumors about myself. I suggest that everyone does this, not to fight the rumors but to instead find some cheap entertainment. I have written this blog entry for just that purpose and cannot wait to get the threats from people (usually emailed) telling me how evil I am for repeating what they say about me.

1) I am being investigated by the FBI for having to many girlfriends.

2) I currently am working undercover for the Iranian government.

3) My tongue was surgically enhanced to make it bigger.

4) I am moving to Salem Mass. to become a male witch.

5) I am a right wing conservative republican that is not a fan of hippies that do not bath.... ok, this one is true but they say it like it is a bad thing.

This is always fun to do..... I am curious what strange rumors you have heard about yourself? Email them to me if you do not want to write on FB or on this blog.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Thanks







In very simple terms...... thanks.

Being a good American, Independence day is more special to me then almost any other day. Our great nation was founded, built and protected by a long stream of men and women who were willing to gamble it all based only on an idea.

When we think about the uniqueness of the American people we start to realize that what makes us great is not the color of skin, the national origin or even how we pray to God but instead it is based on the simple premise that all men are created equal and we have rights given to us by God.

I cannot thank our founding fathers personally but at this time I would like to thank those who are (or have been) in the military, this includes the families that also have had to sacrifice their time away from their loved ones in the military, those who offer their time to help the needy and the men and women in neighborhoods all over this country who stand up and shine as a beacon for the children in their neighborhoods.

We are a great nation and I for one realize that I owe so many people who have made it great. My daughter and I are free and live in the best country in the world because of people like you.

Thank You.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

My Enemies Enemy



The world did not come to an end yesterday but I am pretty sure it came close to it. My worst enemy has been dancing and flaunting in public their despise for me, they have tried everything to shame me and make me look bad. I have decided that it is time to go into full Viking mode and finally end it once and for all. This is my last warning for the poor soul who has caused me so much pain.

A friend and I have made the final plan to take this enemy out. I have worked long and hard to end their rule of hatred over me and as I have planned for their demise they just keep making my life worse. The time has come for me to put on my Viking hat with the horns and get serious.

The ground hog has become so comfortable with me sitting outside working that he now comes up within 3 feet of me and just sits and stares like I am a circus side show freak that he has paid a quarter to see. Neighbors all around who I thought were allies in my battle against the creature are no longer any help.

The people who I thought were my enemies enemy, people all over the neighborhood, excitedly tell me about their encounters with this vile beast. One by one over the last two days they have come over and have told me about how wonderful it was to have such a critter around. They would then show me pictures they took of it and even worse some were taken with their kids and the ground hog just a few feet from them.

My agony is now the joke of the town as my friend and I have failed to end the reign of terror. The wicked monster has turned into a mascot for the area and I have to listen to the wonderful tales about him. People now get upset when I ask what kind of BBQ sauce goes best with groundhog yet there was a time I actually had suggestions given to me.

I guess the moral of my sad tale is that you should take out your enemy as quickly as possible before your enemies enemy becomes your enemies fan base.......

My hunting for the vile beast will continue but only in the cover of darkness. I think that a Viking can still make war at night and I plan on finding out.

Friday, July 2, 2010

True Beauty




The true beauty of a woman is eternal and not only external
It does not need youth to exist
It grows with age becoming stronger

The heart, soul and mind are the sources of beauty
Love is not selfish but instead it is giving
A man who finds a true beauty has found the greatest treasure.

I was at a donut shop the other day and saw a woman in her 90's. She was a true lady and because of her ways every man and woman treated her like a princess. This included a group of boys that had come on skate boards. Even young teenagers recognize what a true lady is, I just wish that we adults understood as well.

When a woman is honestly beautiful she shines like no other.

Just thinking about a beautiful woman I know so please understand that I realize how goofy this blog entry is but I will continue with a real one tomorrow.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Vampires, Werewolves and Smurfs



I was sitting outside the other day when a young girl and her mother stopped by to talk for a little while. The mother and Judy had a few errands to do and I was asked if it was ok if I watched the young lady for awhile. Since I do like children and my brain had come to a dead end I thought that it would be a great break in my routine.

She started telling me a story about "Avatar" and I asked her if it was the movie, she proclaimed that it was not but instead a video or TV show. I then asked if the people were blue and she said "No, they are white..... well not real white but more like the color of a ghost with a tan". She then went on to explain that Smurfs were just the blue Avatars that were not very smart and were born with really bad birth defects. She then said we should be nice to them because they were nice and they could not help the way they looked.

I started working again as her story kept going on but I was listening (well, kind of) and then she stopped in her speech, stood up and became quite animated as she started telling more of the story. This time it had something to do with vampires and werewolves but I could not keep up with her excited voice. I assume the reason I could not keep up was that I am real old somewhere in my early 40's. This means my brain is old, dried out and I have no imagination.

After about 30 minutes of this wondrous story of people the color of tanned ghost, blue people, smurfs, vampires and werewolves I finally asked her who would win in a battle against a vampire and werewolf. She looked at me like I was as bright as a three day old road killed possum and said that everyone knows that vampires would always win against an ugly werewolf.

I then told her how I am of Viking blood and this set her off telling me all about my people and the great hats they have. She was excited to think that I might be a real Viking and decided that Vikings can beat up everyone, vampires, werewolves and even the Smurfs.

I did learn some interesting things from my young friend.

1) Smurfs are mutants
2) Avatars can be blue or the color of tanned ghost
3) Vampires always beat werewolves
4) Vikings are the top of the food chain
5) Children still do have imaginations.

The new blogs will be available for public viewing soon, including ones that preview our authors and musicians from EMP, one for humor, political inside info and the infamous e-blog. If you have information or would like to submit anything for one of the new blogs please either email or inbox me on Facebook.

The e-blog will have limited access for a month or so. If you would like to have one of the 20 invites please email me at fmcd2010@gmail.com. First come first serve.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Things I Would Never Say!!



Running around with girls on a Saturday doing what any normal guy would do. I then realized that I was actually saying things that I am sure sometime in my past I would have died if I knew I was to say them. They are not bad but just bizarre when looking at them as if I were some 18 year old. How could a "real" man actually utter some of these and not be shunned by the likes of Boy George for being to big of a sissy.

1. No, I like the bright pink one much better then this lighter pink one.

2. Do you make a lettuce salad that is diet and not just regular? Oh, I would also like a double dip hot Carmel sundae.

3. I would like a veggie burger with bacon..... Yes, I know that bacon is not a vegetable.

4. Ummm, I guess he might be cute.

5. No!!!, I will not ask him his name.

6. Please do not make me stand outside of the women's changing rooms for to long by myself.

7. Yes ma'am, I do have a reason for standing around the women's changing rooms for so long.

8. So, the Irish won the rugby game. (How did I run into the only woman who watched rugby in Oklahoma so she could spoil the game for me.}

9. Yes, we can eat there and yes I will ask the waiter to keep the deep fried chicken feet off our table.

10. That is one of my favorite Hannah Montana songs too.

When I felt like I had lost all of my manhood for the day I was able to gain it back with one sentence......

I have no problem with you liking any boy as long as I am able to kill him with my bare hands.


I do love Saturday afternoons, not quite what I thought they would be when I was younger but still very entertaining.


This was one of the top rated blogs from February of this year..... I hope you enjoyed it.

The new blogs will be available for public viewing soon, including ones that preview our authors and musicians from EMP, one for humor, political inside info and the infamous e-blog. If you have information or would like to submit anything for one of the new blogs please either email or inbox me on Facebook.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Squirrel Sausage


I got a phone call this morning from a friend around 5 am, that is not a problem because I was up. He excitedly told me to get to his house because he had made a fresh batch of squirrel sausage. Now, I am a normal human and eating a tree rodent was not on the top of my list of things to do in life. I really do like the guy so even though I had great misgivings I told him no problem. I am not sure if it is an Okie thing, a rural thing or if my friends are just strange.

I arrived at his house and there were several other guys already there watching Alan cook over the stove. It is always strange to see a group of men excitedly watching another guy cook in the kitchen... over a grill outside is another story.

We all grabbed plates (yes, real men do use plates) and heaped large portions of scrambled eggs and sausage on them and headed off to the living room to eat (this is the room guys eat in when there are no women around).

Alan said a prayer before we dug in and mentioned while praying that the meat would be good and not harmful. When he said that I had to look up to see if he was joking but he continued to pray. As I stared at him wondering what he knew about it that I did not I realized every other guy in the room was doing the exact same thing as I.

After the prayer we all started digging in to the eggs being careful not to eat the meat. I finally asked Alan what did he mean about the meat being harmful and he explained that there might be some shot left in the meat and he did not want someone to break a tooth or accidentally swallow any. I figured that one of my greatest desires in life was to keep all ammo on the outside of my body not ever letting it penetrate my skin or even accidentally swallowing any but decided that I would carefully give it a try.

I took my first bite and WOW the stuff was great! I ate several large portions and even took some home for later, I will see if I can get Alexis to eat any. This turned out to be something that was never on my list of things to try in life but I am glad I did it anyways. I suppose the moral of the story is "you should never hate something till you have tried it and have a good reason to hate it".....or maybe it is that I will eat anything at least once.

This was one of the top rated blogs from January of this year..... I hope you enjoyed it.

The new blogs will be available for public viewing soon, including ones that preview our authors and musicians from EMP, one for humor, political inside info and the infamous e-blog. If you have information or would like to submit anything for one of the new blogs please either email or inbox me on Facebook.

Monday, June 28, 2010

One Hot Woman




I am sitting outdoors in the backyard slaving away working on a book that we are publishing, I wish I were the great author but alas I am just the publisher. Later this afternoon I will be working for a musical talent that I am sure will do well in the near future. There is nothing like the internet, I can work with people in Maine, Oregon, New York, Oklahoma and California and never leave my chair.

This working outside does have a major problem though. While I am sitting here trying to figure out promotions, editors and music mixers I am drawn to staring at a young woman who is sun bathing. I have never been one to stare or even one to ogle on the sly but this woman is different. She draws me in even though she is not even looking at me.

...... OH MAN, she just got up and walked over to my table and is talking with me. I guess I am still typing so I will not stare and look like the 14 year old that I feel like......

Ok, she did tell me that it is ok because, well, it is my girlfriend. I am one lucky guy because I love her mind, soul, spirit and who she actually is. They lucky part is that the woman I am so enthralled with is also  "one hot woman". It honestly would not make any difference what she looked like but I have to say...... I am lucky that she is so hot as well.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Dis-Lex-E-Ism




I always have been able to do this odd little trick. I can read upside down, in a mirror image or even the correct right side up way equally as well. This has never been a problem and is actually is pretty cool trick but there are also some strangeness that goes along with this trick.

I can read VERY fast with 100% comprehension and retention but I have never been able to spell very well. This has always seemed strange to my teachers and even my parents  but to me it seemed normal. In the age of word processors the problem has not been as bad as it could be because spell checkers have helped pickup where my weakness is. I still do write and speak "backwards" sometimes.

A couple of days ago I was speaking to a young lady who is going to college to become a school teacher. Ari, a brilliant young women, is one of those people who seems to have been created to be the perfect teacher. We started talking and I was telling her about my odd behavior when she started asking me questions in a rapid manner.

Ari was never pushy but instead allowed me to try and explain each answer. She stopped me in the middle of one of my answers and she said that I might want to check out to see if I had dyslexia. I did a little research on this suggestion and amazingly this 20 year old "kid" had figured out something about me that I never had known. No teacher, parent or adult had understood while growing up this "problem" existed with in me.

The fact is this blog is nothing more then a way for me to let others know that we adults do not have all of the answers. It was a little hard to listen and actually learn from a young one but I am now better equipped with knowledge then I have been before. I would love to hear other adults email me stories of how they have learned something from "kids". It is time for we adults to realize that young people are not all idiots and even now they can add to the betterment of our lives and the world.

Thanks Ari..... you will be a great school teacher and even today you are teaching me things about myself.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Manly art of Needlepoint





My daughter decided she would create a pillow doing all of the design and artwork herself. This became a small problem to me in trying to help and aid my young one in the skills that are required to do that type of work. I am never one to back down from a challenge so I took all of my manly pride and stuffed it someplace deep where I would never find it again and decided I would go look for help.

To my utter surprise there are actual stores that sell mainly needlepoint products and the ladies there are very helpful. I tried to explain that I knew nothing but my honey eyed daughter can get me to do anything when she smiles and gives me a hug. The ladies laughed and said it is rare for a dad to come for help but it is not unheard of.

They walked me through the steps and products that are needed and did NOT try to over sell me. I tried to find the proper "apron" but never could find one that quite suited me so I went with a plain green one... kind of manly I suppose.

Once at home I tried my skills out before I would help my daughter later when I realized that Needlepoint is not done by very many men because it is HARD. Forget the whole concept of needlepoint being for sissy's, needlepoint is only for the toughest of the tough. Have you ever wondered why so many tough little grandmothers do needlepoint. Its because their husbands are either dead or scared to come around when she pulls out her thread and needles.

The truth seems to be that needlepoint is only for the hardest of men or for sweet and kindly women who look nice and kind but can hunt down a bear, kill it, gut it and cook it over a fire with only the aid of a needle and a bit of colorful thread.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Preparing to Take Down My Enemy





We all have those who wish us harm. These creatures seem to have no morals when they attack and can only be stopped when you shine the light of day on their deep dark hearts. The evil permeates throughout their minds and souls and we, the righteous, have a duty to do what ever it takes to stop them.

In business, we all have those who wish to beat us but usually they are just acting to out maneuver you in work. In social setting you always have at least one person who is just plain nuts and will say whatever sounds the most exciting to them even if it is not true. These individuals you just feel sorry for because their life is so boring that they need to find excitement through gossip.

The true evil creature is the one who comes after you on a personal level, these people can be stalkers, so called friends, neighbors or in my case a ground hog (I still have stalkers but I just laugh at them now). The ground hog seems to taunt me every time he shows up. He devours all of the gardens in the neighborhood, chases the squirrels and I am pretty sure is part of the global warming fiasco, why else would a large rodent be watched to determine when summer is coming.

Because I am a true conservative I do not believe in killing one of God's creatures just for the sake of killing. This was limiting my options so I checked to see if there were any good recipes for ground hog. To my dismay everyone of them sounded like something that the French would pass off as something tasty and well .... French. Thus I cannot kill my enemy but can only plan on taking it down.

I have made a list of things I need as I prepare for the greatest battle of my life. Flashlight, cat carrier, leather gloves, home made trap and several other important items. These may or may not help but at least I feel like I am preparing for the great war. As I am sitting here writing this my great enemy is sitting by the cabbage plants gnawing away, tormenting me with the wit that only a genetically altered rat can have.

I shall prevail, it may take several days and I may not survive myself but my enemy will be brought down at last.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

To Much Estrogene

                                                           Lynard?


I am a guy, 100% filled with testosterone that oozes out of every pore on my body. I love the manly sports such as AMERICAN football, rugby, hockey and even the occasional "pull my finger" contest. Recently though, I have found myself in the realm of estrogen city where I am literally the odd MAN out.

I have found myself surrounded by women where even the pet cats are female. Judy, her daughters and even my new friends all seem to be of the female persuasion. This is fine with me but I lack that time when a good burp is something to be proud of instead of something you suppress like a deep and honest feeling.

There are two saving graces to my horror story of brewing in the female hormone and that is Larry and Danny. One is an 18 year old NASCAR fan who even gets his girlfriend to work on cars and the other is a guy around 70 who has taught me when to shut up and just smile. Wisdom can be found in both of these guys but I would have to say the 70 year old has proven that you can live around women and not be killed in your sleep.

It does make me wonder when there is an outdoor party and Larry and I are the only guys. There is a shed in the yard that the women all claim cannot be unlocked and then they start laughing about some guy named Lynard that is buried in there. When the conversation turns to this poor soul whose ghost lives in the backyard I look towards Larry for reassurance but he just stands there with a smile on his face and his mouth shut...... I guess that is why he is still alive.

I do enjoy my life and love the fact that women add so much more too whom and what I am but I will always be a guy. One of those odd creatures that love violent sports, rare steaks and needs to ask if my pants match by shirt or if I even need to wear pants. Thankfully there will always be friends and loved ones that are female and can help answer such deep questions. It is great that the Creator made us all so different and even better that he made at least half of us smarter to help the other half.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Boiled Meat




I grew up and lived many years in cattle country where men are men and cows are nervous (eaten, not the old joke...ok?). In the great states of Oklahoma and Oregon we understand that you take a slab of cow and throw it on fire to make it tasty. This works with other animals as well but for a family blog I will leave out the assortment of road kill that is also made delicious with this treatment.

I have recently been introduced to something that I previously would have thought that only a French Canadian could enjoy and that is boiled meat. Both corned beef and Daisy Ham are meals that you take perfectly good hunks of flesh and throw them into a big pot of boiling water, this does sound a bit nasty but the outcome is delectable.

I honestly thought that corned beef was something that Hormel created to take up space next to Spam but I have learned it is actually something that is made from real meat instead of some space age gluttonous gunk. Daisy Ham does seem a bit strange when you consider that you are taking a ham and boiling it for what seems days. I would not suggest though that my Jewish friends try this because I am pretty sure it still is not Kosher no matter that it no longer seems too ham like.

I have had my horizons widened with this exotic food but as always I want to push the boundaries of normality. Since "fusion" cooking is so hot right now with things like mixing Japanese with Mexican recipes I was wondering about mixing other styles with boiled meat. So I wondered what else could be boiled.....

Redneck food like possum? Hippie food like (well, drugs are illegal) and English food but I figure boiling anything English would probably actually add flavor to it.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Babes in Bikinis




I have been to beaches all over the world and I have seen all types of babes in bikinis but I would have to say that the beaches in New England have one of the oddest things that has ever prowled the sand, super wrinkly people wearing bikinis.

Old people play on the beaches in California and in Florida but there is a bit of difference. While I am not a big fan of liposuction or snipping (in these cases hedge sheers are used) and tucking rolls of wrinkled skin it is nice to have this done to women who demand to wear skimpy clothing while standing anywhere around me. The fact is old antiquated men seem not to have the need to show their wonderfully wrinkled rears to the world.

There is something really wrong when a woman who is a member of AARP dresses like she is starring at the local strip club. While the want to be stripper may actually have clothing on the wrinkles tend to cover up any evidence of cloth on the body. I am not  a pure prude but there is a limit on what should be acceptable in public.

I think that all people should go out to enjoy the sand, surf and sun but I respectfully request that if your body is less attractive then week old road kill that you wear something that does not flaunt it. I know I am not one to be speaking of looking great but I promise not to wear a Speado in public if the wrinkled people promise to do the same.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I used to be smarter then a 5th grader

It is fathers day and I will start my regular blogging back this week. This is one of my favorites because it talks about my daughter and I in a real life situation.



My daughter is in the 5th grade and helping her with her homework I realized I used to be smarter then a 5th grader but somewhere and somehow that all fell away into oblivion. I know that I once was smarter then a 5th grader because my school passed me up to 6th grade but of course that might have been because they really hated me and just wanted rid of me.

The big bang of realization occurred when I sat down to go over my daughters math homework, I do want to point out I am great at math, I even tested out of Calculus one and two in college. Looking over the problems she had solved I noticed one that was wrong and I gave her the correct answer and told her I wanted her to work the problem out to get the right answer. She went back to her desk, sat down and squirmed for 10 minutes and returned to me and asked if I could help her by showing her how to solve the problem.

Being the super smart dad that I am, I told her lets sit down and go over it together. It was at this moment that my brain literally started to ooze out of my ears, I had no idea why the answer was what it was just knew it was the answer. I fumbled through the book making the age old excuse that I wanted to make sure we did it like her teacher wanted her to do it. I quickly started scanning through the book hoping beyond all hope that the answer would jump out and I would once again be seen as the all knowing father.

Alexis, with her noble Persian eyes looked at me and did not even ask but stated "Dad, you really do not know what we are supposed to do but that is OK". I told her that I was sure her teacher would help her if she asked before class started. I then packed an apple, a flower and a sealed note for her to give to her teacher throwing myself at the mercy of a woman who is obviously smarter then a 5th grader and hoped that I would not be called into a parent teacher conference to talk about my inability to do simple math.

I will let you know if that dreaded meeting is called for in the future.........

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Yes Sir, I Am Still A Black Man .... Still

I am still off roaming the Earth so here is another rehash. I am missing a dear friend of mine. He died a month or so after I originally wrote this. I do believe that he would be proud of where I am today and I honestly wish I could just talk to him for a minute to let him feel the joy that I have found.















Today I saw that an old friend had called me, I have known him for many years but he is actually old. The guy was probably on the ark with Noah and is probably to blame for not tossing the skunk and the rat over board when Noah was not looking.

This man is a retired black preacher that adopted me as one of his grand kids. The interesting thing to me about our relationship is he believes in the "black gospel", a belief that black people are God's chosen people and whites are the cursed people of the Bible. This has never gotten in the way of our friendship because he thinks even a cursed white man can be saved and be a full brother in Christ.

I then called my dear friend to see what he wanted to talk about. He started off by telling me that he knew I have had a real rough 6 weeks or so but he had noticed that I was back to normal. This of course was a bit offensive because I would hate to be totally normal. He laughed and said no, normal for you.

We chatted about life and the mysteries of the world when he asked me a very strange question. He lowered his voice to almost a whisper and said "Micheal, son, are you still a black man?". Now this might seem like a strange thing to hear but this is the same guy who just a couple of weeks ago went on a long walk with me and after his fifth cigarette told me that walking was much better exercise then jogging because you cannot smoke while jogging.

I really did not know how to respond and my brain was slowly ticking down to exploding when he continued. He told me that I was his favorite grandson even though he only adopted me as his and that people needed to know that I was his kin. I really did not know what to say, I love Dean, Sinatra, my favorite ice cream is vanilla and I have blue eyes and I am of Swedish heritage.

The preacher continued by saying that blacks throughout history have been beaten, sold into slavery, denied jobs, could not even go to some businesses because of the color of their skin but they also created some of the most beautiful music, art and inventions that all people of every color could enjoy. He then explained that while there are people who hate me some for jealousy, some because of boredom that I should continue to be a black man and do what I knew in my heart was true and right.

He then asked me again if I was still a black man and I responded "Yes Sir, I am still a black man". There is much wisdom I have learned from this man and most of the time it takes me a long time to figure out exactly what I was supposed to learn but on this MLK day I can proudly proclaim that I am still a black man.... at least to my dear friend.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Nuclear Reation In My Kitchen Again

Since I am off working the east coast I was asked if I could rerun this article. Since I am naturally lazy and do not want to write a blog while actually working it seemed like a good idea.




I woke up this morning a few minutes before 4 am and did not feel like working so boredom came quickly. I would like to say at this moment that all men love fire and it has been this was since the days of Adam. Most men like to blow stuff up but there are a few crazies that actually will stuff explosives in there underwear to blow their stuff up but I digress.

I hit the kitchen to see what I could eat, I went with oranges but some grapes caught my attention. This brought back a memory from a facebook friend who told me to cut one in half and microwave it. I did this and a small plasma ball formed. This actually is pretty cool but being a guy I thought that if a grape creating a plasma ball was cool then 46 grapes would even be better.

I grabbed a knife and went to cutting the grapes. While standing in the kitchen cutting grapes I realized that if I took a bit of foil and wrinkled it up then laid it out flat in the microwave to set the grapes on it might create an even better reaction. So... I proceeded with this experiment for scientific reasons I am sure (at least that was my plan if the fire department had to show up) and carefully laid everything out in the oven.

I turned of the lights to get a better view... flipped the switch....and presto it worked. Plasma, sparks and a few seconds later a small fire all ensued. To say the least kids, do not try this at home without adult supervision and if you are lucky enough to find an adult that will help you with the project then you probably need to find a smarter adult.

I do expect any moment for the presidents of Iran, Cuba and Venezuela to call and offer me millions for my nuclear secrets.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Divorce Must Be Fun (Update)



I am honestly sad to say that the mans divorce is set to be finalized October the 10th. The woman is now off to a new person and who knows what will happen with her.



I have another friend who is going to get divorced. I am really tired of hearing about all of the people who claim to love God with all of their hearts and yet do not love their own spouse. I am in no way suggesting that a person should stick with someone who is cheating, hurting or anything else like that. but I am aiming this directly at people who are the ones who are cheating and hurting those they claim to love.

The most simple rule to marriage is to make sure your spouse is your best friend. When this no longer applies to your marriage then it is probably time to call a divorce lawyer. I receive all types of emails from people and here is one that points out what I am driving at....

"Michael... How did this even happen...I don't know but I wish someone would help me out here...I love my wife...my son...and my life but with ***** I feel something so different!!! I talked to her earlier and I told her that I am in her life forever no matter what path she will choose......I have had many relationships in the past but never in my life has my soul interacted with another soul so deeply...This is not an obsession or just an infatuation but something a lot deeper that I can not quite describe."

This man sent this to me in December and in January his wife filed for divorce and he still cannot figure out why. He blames everyone except himself or the woman of his attraction.

Not to make people think that only men are cads this is one from a woman.

"Michael, I love my best friend with all of my heart. I am willing to do anything for him. I love my parents and children and ***** but they do not understand me. My bff is all I ever think about any more."

This woman is doing the same things as the man. She is actually blaming everyone else but herself for the demise of a marriage. She saw nothing wrong with having a best friend that was married and could not understand why his marriage fell apart after she publicly declared her love for him. She would write on Facebook walls about wanting to play naked with him yet became distraut when questioned by people about her actions.

You should marry your best friend, stay best friends and never look outside of your marriage for that best friend. I would like to say that I have many married women who I have a close relationship with but I NEVER want to be their best friend. That designation should be held for their spouse and  only their spouse.

There are two things you should learn from this blog.

1) If you are not married to your best friend then you probably think "divorce must be fun".

2) If you send me an email about how you love your best friend and you are not married to them then I will probably print it so others can see your foolishness.

To my many friends and aquaintences. please find the one you love before you get married. Make that love consist of a life long friendship. Have other friends, spend time with other friends but never let another person take place of who your best friend should be. If you do find a best friend outside of the one you claim to love then you are creating an evil situation.

I know this is ranting but I am actually sick of all the running around by men and women. We are not animals but a special creation of God. If the picture of marriage is likened to Gods relationship with the church then lets remember that God is not running around looking for a better friend then us nor should we be looking for a better friend then God.

Sorry for the blog but enough is enough! I know there will be people mad that I aired their dirty laundry but the fact is you should not write me and tell me about your sins unless you also understand that it was your fault. I do have friends that have made mistakes and are now paying for them but the ones I do not want to hear from are those who willingly create chaos and then try to blame others for it.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Viking Pride



I have always found it amusing that people of all races and cultures try so hard to make their ancestors sound like saints who never did any wrong. I on the other hand take pride in the fact that my forefathers were absolute monsters that pillaged towns and took the women for their own. These were not nice guys but it did help create blue eyed people from the middle east through Africa, Europe and into the Americas.

While I am glad we of the Nordic Aryan nations have finally turned out to be nice guys it is still good to know that we are capable of conquering whom ever we wish. This might all sound nasty and mean but the fact is I love the truth more then some fairy tale about great kingdoms and civilizations where there were none. There is no reason to claim huge kingdoms of advanced people where there were not any.

After all is said and done I love the stamina, strength and blue eyes that my people of old gave me. We may not have had the great art, cities and other stuff that people feel like they have to make up but we did have the toughest of men.

Since I will be traveling for the next few weeks I have invited a young lady to help with the blog. Susanna will be making some posts so please do not blame her for the bizarre stuff I write. She is a beautiful, conservative business woman who has much more to say then I do so I hope you enjoy her blogs while Judy and I are off to do our stuff.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Evil Women





Living in a state that is filled with the wacko segment of the far left I have discovered that to be considered open minded and unbigotted means that it is OK to hate anyone because of their race, sex and national origin as long as you also hate people who do not think exactly like you. The interesting thing about this though is that you can lean to the left (or right) and actually be open minded to new ideas and new was to think. This was driven home to me last night while talking to two sisters that actually knew how to think.

Several people know the self proclaimed hippie (Jim) that goes around claiming that anyone that does not agree with him politically is a bigot. He has been hooked on drugs, made racist comments, claims to turn people into the FBI and wonders why children thinks he maybe a vampire. He is the perfect example of a wacko far left nut that does not understand that being open minded is not just a mantra but it also requires a person to actually open their mind to new ideas.

Last evening I spoke with two sisters, 20 and 16, that also lean to the left of center but unlike the hippie dude they have no problem using logic (they never claimed that they would call the police if a person did not agree with them). These young people could discuss Pyler v. Doe and then talk about boys, school, the prom and other assorted girl things. It made me proud to know that these young people still had a brain that had not been stolen by public education.

According to people like Hippie Jim, these two ladies are evil women because they are NOT hateful, spiteful and so full of themselves that they cannot make room for people whom they disagree with. I personally felt honored to have disagreed with them, there was not a winner nor a loser in a debate but instead a healthy exchange of ideas and ways to think. I believe that America would be a better country if all of us (both on the left and right) would learn that it is not a game of winners and losers but instead a game of ideas.

I hope we can learn from the two young women that ideas change and evolve. We should have a healthy exchange with people we do not agree with and should NEVER forget that just because a person is of a different political persuasion then ourselves it does not make them evil or even all of their ideas invalid.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Bi-Coastal Strangeness





Bi-coastal, for my California friends has nothing to do with having both boyfriends and girlfriends at the same time. I do realize that many hippies will be disappointed with this simple fact but it has to do with trying to function on both the Atlantic and Pacific coasts at the same time.

One of the things that I have discovered is the strange backwoods accents that I came to love in Oregon was that you could actually understand what they were saying and while the accent was strong they do at least sound like an American. The "Bahstonian" accent on the other hand sounds suspiciously like something from a French movie about a bicycle, a baguette, and a lisping monkey.

I have hung out in Salem east coast and west coast both and there are some similarities. Salem Mass. has earth worshiping witches who offer up incense for power and Salem Oregon (the state capitol) has politicians who offer up the people for power. There is magic on both coasts but to be quite honest I REALLY like the magic that I found in Massachusetts much better and it has nothing to do with the witches or the politicians.

Tourists..... the bane of normality, upset the culture of both coasts. The east coast has French Canadians who not only sound strange, politically close to the old communist, have the tendency to say "A"  for no reason what so ever except to make sure that the rest of North America is warned that they are part of the strange people of Canada; but they also are both Canadian AND French. The west coast may have come out of the deal worse off because not only do they have the traveling bands of hippies they also have the Texans who show up in Hawaiian t-shirts and cowboy boots.