Bacon Jerky and Dill Pickle Chip Dip

Okay, the photo has nothing to do with the blog but I do have a pretty wife so I thought I would post this picture instead of a picture of my monstrosity.

Yesterday I decided to eat a bit of breakfast, you know a guy does get hungry. I opened the fridge and was horrified that I either needed to go shopping or I would have to actually cook something. Being a bit lazy I simply decided to make do with whatever I had. I had a bit of stale bread so it had to be a sandwich. I nosed around and found some bacon jerky (yes, that is a real product) so now I had meat.

The problem hit when I realized we had no mayo to help make the jerky a bit less dry. Scrummaging around I came up with some dill pickle chip dip. I slathered it on thick, I had to because the bread was dry and stale and the jerky is dry just because it is jerky. I then took a big bite and realized that my mixture was probably not the right combination for human consumption.

Once again, being a guy kicked in, I had a choice, start all over or gag down the new invention of mine. I am sure that you have already guessed..... I ate the whole thing. The oddest part of my breakfast was when I told Judy that a bacon jerky, dill pickle chip dip sandwich was not as good as you would imagine she simply replied "really, it would be hard not to be as good I think it sounds". I am trying to figure out if she said that with a bit of sarcasm.

A Muslim and a Jew Walk Into a Bar

So, a Jew, a Muslim, a Catholic and a Protestant walk into a bar......

Nah, it did not quite happen that way but here is the true story.

In my neck of the woods we just had a complete dump of snow on our quaint little town on a peninsula in New England. Since we are pretty much use to having God bless us with tons of white stuff the town was prepped and was out with snow trucks and the guys were even snow blowing the main sidewalks but that left the driveways and your personal sidewalk with what seemed like 8 feet of snow.

I live on a cul-de-sac so I headed out into the frigid air to shovel my drive and a neighbor lady who is single and not a spring chicken, she is not old but maybe a late summer chicken. I started dutifully shoveling with my wife shouting encouragement to me when with in minutes there were tons of people who live on my end of the street out doing the same thing.

We all pitched in to help the people who just could not do it themselves and the children of the neighborhood even had shovels to help out. The smallest tyke is maybe 4 years old and he had his plastic shovel in hand trying to help as well.

When I came in to a wonderful dinner waiting for me, Judy and I started talking about the neighborhood effort. We realized that there were Jews, Muslims, Catholics and Protestants all  working together to help our neighbors out. There were people from all over the world on our street working in unison simply to be nice to someone else. Different colors, different accents, different beliefs but united in loving the United States and the freedom it gives us.

So, if a Jew, a Muslim, a Catholic and a Protestant walk into a bar in my little berg they might be surprised they were in a bar but they would all talk and have a good time with each other.

Luckiest Guy in the World

I know, you do not have to tell me, I am not the best looking guy around, I am not even close to being rich, my brains come somewhere between Joe Biden and a Mensa member but I am the luckiest guy in the world. All of my friends would agree with me. It has nothing to do with living in the greatest town in the world, having a great family (they have to be my family so they have no choice) nor anything to do with having great friends, my friends are just kind hearted so they put up with me. It all has to do with my wife.


Today is Judy's birthday and she just keeps getting better looking, smarter, more creative and loving. I stand in awe everyday when I realize what I pulled off, I found the best wife a guy could ever dream of and she not only puts up with my antics but she actually joins in many times. We are always laughing, trying something different and being there for each other when needed.

Judy is the most marvelous of all women, I am sure that when God made Eve in the garden of Eden he thought that was his best work until he got the idea of Judy and out did himself. I am proud of her and love her with all my heart....... was this a mushy enough entry to my blog?

Nope, I Am Not Growing Pot

I am your average dad, I like sports, eat food that my wife is pretty sure will kill me in just a few minutes and I like to work on the yard and garden. A problem I have is that I moved to a small New England Coastal town, this means beautiful spring, summer and fall but it also means harsh winters. I figured out a great solution to loving to garden and the cold winter, I simply bring everything in and place it around the house. I keep planting all year as well so I have a continuous supply of plants.

I have replaced most of the light bulbs around the house with grow lights, I have hand held misters and so on. This has really started to get a bit strange though, all of a sudden there is a big push towards legalizing recreational drugs, I really do not care how you feel about changing the law but please think about my "problem".

I do not smoke drugs or consume them in brownies or anything like that but people seem to think that if a guy needs 50 pounds of potting soil, grow lights, plant food and flower containers when it is 12 degrees F outside then I must obviously be doing something a bit illegal. I have shown people my tomato plants and sent them home with some fresh veggies and as they leave they meekly admit they thought I was probably up to growing something else but they are glad I am doing what I am actually doing.

So nope, I am not growing pot, I have no intentions to even if it became a legal activity, I simply like flowers and fresh vegetables all year round. 

A Snow in New England

Snow!!! I have lived in the quaint New England town of Marblehead for 3 1/2 years and I still cannot figure out if I love the stuff or hate it. I know, a guy should have figured out by now if he loves it or should he praying that Global Warming is real and it gets here really quick.

I live in the perfect New England town, the kind you see on post cards and the kind of place that movies try to make people think all of New England is like. I do love my town, the beaches, the people, the friends and the arts but I am not sure on the snow.

Living most of my adult life in either Oklahoma or Southern California means that when I see 4 inches of snow I think it is a blizzard. I really can only remember one white Christmas in my life (not counting living here) so I do get a kick when I see the white stuff. I still get a thrill when the winds pick up just a little and the big flakes come tumbling down.

The problem I have is that I am the only guy in our household, even counting the pets so I am the one who gets to dig the driveway, sidewalks and porches clean of the magical white stuff. Listen up (I do not want to get beaten when my family reads this) all of the women have volunteered to help shovel but I am a guy and it hurts my ego to think I need help with a "mans" job be women.

So as I sit here looking over the weather forecast for the next few days I am torn, do I want a White Christmas and all of the beauty and joy that comes with it or do I want to be able to relax on Christmas. I guess after this rambling I will vote for as much White Stuff as possible...... I am still a kid at heart.

Help a Nice Lady

I have a close friend whose 81yo mother has recently been hospitalized, then taken to a nursing home for rehabilitation. His sisters who called the ambulance did not even bother to let him know what had happened. He had to search for her until she was found in the Emergency Room of the local hospital. He wants to let her know how many people care about her as it appears she will be spending the holidays away from home and under care. So with his permission I would like to organize holiday cards or get well wishes to be sent to either or both of her daughters who live nearby and will forward them to her. Her residence is uncertain at the moment due to her changing medical needs and her recent attempt to find new accommodation. Holiday

Cards or Get Well wishes to:
Jean(or Nana) Yoder c/o Jacque Hollinger
234 Main Street
Terri Hill Pa 17581 USA

Jean(or Nana) Yoder c/o Dori Noecker
615 W. Bellvue Ave
Reading Pa. 19605 USA

His mother would love the envelops to be adorned with rainbows or dolphins, on mine I simply drew a rainbow on the back side but stickers or whatever would be nice.

An Okie in Boston

 People who know me in real life knows full and well that I am not just an Okie but a Proud Okie. It does take a bit of bravery to wear an OKC Thunder t-shirt around Boston Celtic fans or put on an OSU sweatshirt when Boston College is playing a game but a guy has to do what a guy has to do. This line of thought brings me to something that is genetically ingrained in me simply from the Oklahoma red dirt having leached into my DNA, the red dirt slowly alters a person and transforms them into a proud Oklahoman. Since the pride actually comes from your DNA even if you move that swelling pride of being an Okie always stays with you.

This brings me to the subject of what it is like to be an Okie in Yankee Land. In the Boston area there is a dearth of REAL college football, a breeze is considered a major wind storm and tasty smoked meat, BBQ and other meat requirements simply pale to what I am use to having back in Oklahoma. It is not all bad, I love living here and can handle watching OU and OSU on TV and I still chuckle to myself when my friends and neighbors are scared about the 25 MPH wind gusts but the thing I had the biggest problem with was finding great meat. In Oklahoma I never had to cook it myself because every neighbor, family, friends and most restaurants were pretty adapt at it. Once I moved to New England I was left alone in the wilderness with no help.

This problem set me off on the next part of the saga, I had to become a king of the grill and smoker myself. I tried remembering back to the days I was a kid and watched my dad cook but after trying my hand at some chops and having neighbors over who were pretty sure it was made from raccoon or skunk meat I decided it was time to get a bit of help. I did what any modern guy would do that is to embarrassed to ask people who could actually help them..... I googled it.

Now, I am not knocking Google but I ran into more sites that had no idea that meat was supposed to taste good. There were ones that every recipe required 5 pounds of sugar and a burger with a 1 inch crust of sugar just is not right. There were others that were hip and cool and bragged that they were Californian, please remember that in California tacos made from fish are not only acceptable but considered good eating.

I finally fumbled across a site that was perfect, it gave great directions, it had real recipes for real guys and simply was something that worked., after telling my wife about the great site I found she looked over it and laughed...... it is ran by a guy in Oklahoma. I now understood why it was great, he was an Okie and understood great meat.

 I am now the kind of New England guy that while a Nor'ester is blowing through I have my smoker and or grill going. I might have to keep shoveling a path out to the cooking meat but I finally feel like I belong here. I can now love New England and still have my meat. I can even smoke lobster tail now.

I want to be VERY clear, this is NOT an advertisement, I was NOT paid to write this, I actually emailed Jeff to see if it was OK for me to write about his site.

If you want to checkout the site yourself it can be found at www.smoking-meat.com