Life Really Stinks !!!!!

Sometimes everything in life goes wrong, your goals keep getting in the way of real life and everything goes nuts. Ok, the first line is a total lie because the word "sometimes" should be changed to "always". This is where it takes a person to realize that they need to roll with life and not always grab it by the neck and squeeze what they want out of it. (I do love analogies where I kill things)

The great thing about just waiting instead of searching for the best is that you can be lazy and what you want from life comes up and bops you in the head. This is where I stand today... I have what I want but realize that it also creates even more work.

I think that this will be a short and sweet blog because I have a long day filled with work and fun..... by the way, life does not stink but instead is one grand adventure.

Never Sleep

Some times life becomes so hectic that you become consumed with everything in it. The fun thing is when you stop being myopic and realize that you have friends that you can give a bit of encouragement too by just saying that you are thinking of them.

I spent another night last night up without sleeping talking to a friend. She lives in a beautiful area with trees that are actually trees. If you have ever lived in Oklahoma you will understand that I am stunned at what real trees look like. We should be headed to see the giant red woods in Cali this weekend and I am not sure if my brain can handle such monstrous trees.

The advantage of not sleeping is that I can waste a whole lot of time and still get a ton of stuff done. It also gives my blue eyes that funky red glow of a vampire. This greatest thing about not sleeping is I can write a blog and believe that it is the most wonderous thing ever writen even if it makes no sense.

It does not seem like I will be able to sleep tonight either so tomorrows blog should really be a mess.

Ooze From The Insane Mind

The picture has nothing to do with todays blog..... I just like it.

BIG day of doing many little things....... I am trying to give you an excuse for writing such a crumby blog today and I have not even started it yet..... Ok, I have started it but this first line really does not count.

The big trick of writing a blog when you have nothing to say and when you want to hurry up and say nothing is to make a list of things. This blog mysteriously will be a list of ooze from insane minds that I was either told or that I accidentally stepped in over the last couple of days.

1) The only reason you have alot of friends is to make me look bad.

2) I would have shot the bigfoot but it looked like my mother.

3) How long should I be married before I change my status on Facebook.

4) Did you really want to grow up to be a vampire or are you just trying to freak people out. (I did and still do think it would be cool)

5) Washing an elephant is something she will remember (not insane at all but still sounds funny)

6) What ever you do, I am begging you, do not eat the starfish.

7) The B and B is full but they will let you sit in the downstairs room over night and you will be allowed to eat with the other guest.

8) I reaaallly like Scandinavian men.... hey, aren't you Scandinavian.

9) My bathroom really needs cleaning

10) If you do not think that this is legal then we probably should not tell anyone (it was legal AND moral)

See.... easy blog.

Hope to see you tomorrow.

The Beast

I have a fantastic cousin who found a couple pictures of myself and my older brother, she then sent them to me via Facebook. I guess the pictures mean so much to me because my older brother died while he was in high school..... miss him

I was a tow headed child that even at a very young age had a snazzy sense of clothing style and the ability to hear my ancestral Viking brothers drum away before attacking some helpless village. It does still amaze me that people think I am a nice sweet guy when many centuries ago my forefathers were the ones who invented that hat with horns, chased women all over the world and bopped people over the head with some of the nastiest looking bats around.

I digress... I should be discussing "The Beast"...

I took a close look at the above picture and of course now I understand how I could be so good looking today considering how cute of a start I had. But, there was something else in the picture that I could not quite put my finger on, there was that thing that stood out in plan sight yet I knew I was blinded to. There is that thing that is like a badge denoting me as a true beast.

After looking the picture over I realized that the proof of my being animalistic  sat right before my eyes. Yeti, Loch Ness Monster and Al Gore are all mythical creatures that a few people believe in but most people do not but I am a true beast that actually exists. We, of north Aryan blood (please do not try to explain that being Aryan makes me a racists. That would be like saying that being Irish makes you drunk) have big appendages. I have a big nose, wide hands, long tongue and big feet.... if it is sticking off my body then it is big.

This made me realize as I was staring at the abnormally large feet of my childhood that there might actually be a reason that I have felt the calling of the Pacific North West. I googled Oregon Bigfoot and realized that he has the big forehead, nose and feet. This had me panting as I was running around looking for my ancient roots when it hit me..... Vikings may have been the first people in North America, was bigfoot a Viking pet? was he a Viking that just liked running around naked? so many questions with so little time!! I may actually be hearing the call of the wild, the sound of my ancestors begging me to return to my Yeti kin.

Soooo.... to see if my theory of Bigfoot being a long lost relative is correct I think I will go east of town a couple of miles and sit around in the woods naked. I will have to pop out on the street every now and then just to add to the mysticism of it all. I guess the knocking over trash cans, eating dogs and looking in bedroom windows is also a given. If I end up in jail for window peeping, running around naked or any other crime I hope you remember that I did it for science and wanting to connect to my greater family.

I Am Not A Vampire .... Yet

This blog is where I spill my guts, tell the truth and generally give people ammo that they can use against me. When I was but just a child I discovered the mythical creature called a vampire. The creature fascinated me but for reasons most people would never grasp.

When kind adults would ask the age old question to a young lad "what would you like to be when you grow up" I knew the answer immediately, it was always one of two answers. I never did say police man, fireman, doctor or even cowboy but it was always lawyer or vampire. Today I see the humor in my choices because they both do have much in common. (please note that I do have great friends who are lawyers but none who are vampires)

When a kindly old lady would ask the question and I would spew out vampire it usually took just moments before she was telling my mother that I was probably brain damaged and also needed to have evil spirits exorcised from me. I will say that my parents were at least kind to my disillusionment and listened to what I had to say. Considering my father was a preacher he could have easily gone ballistic that one of his sons went around telling people that he wanted to grow up to be the Prince of Darkness. My mom and dad instead listened and did not trash by boyhood dreams.

When I was asked why I wanted to be a vampire the sucking of blood, murder, pact with the devil and other evilness never did even cross my mind. It really seemed simple to me and a great idea to aspire too. Vampires (from what I knew) had the best clothes, always had the best looking women, lived in castles or at least mansions, stayed up all night and could get people to do what ever they wanted by just looking at them. I knew in my young heart that no fireman or cowboy had it so good and I would just leave those jobs to kids who were boring.

Vampires were simply cool..... they had and did everything that a child could dream of. Superman never had it so good because he was stuck with one babe (yes I was girl crazy back then but I did grow out of it ), hid who he really was, never had tons of money and had to were glasses most of the day. Werewolves were hairy stinky creatures that lost control, stunk and slobbered on themselves. Growing up to be a vampire really made sense to me as a young child.

Today when people ask me what I do for a living it always triggers the memory of wanting to be a vampire. It does make me a bit rueful that I failed at my first dream and never grew fangs but I can say that today I may not have the best clothes, even one woman who likes me or live in a castle yet I am proud that I can say I have stayed up all night more then once.



This is my 100th blog on this site. I am averaging over 2400 page hits a day with over 18% of them from people who live in my new home state of Oregon..... 13% from Oklahoma. Thanks for reading and I hope that you have a wonderful day. I would suggest that you watch out for vampires though while visiting this blog because I am still trying to figure out how to change into a bat.

Watching Roaches Can Be Fun

I love my life, the city I live in, my friends, my family and my job... life could not get any better. Many people know how hard of a time I had over the last few months but I can honestly say that I came out the other side better, happier and closer to God. I would not have dreamed that my life would be so perfect today back in January. I am happy, content and ready to rule the world of my creation.

The thing I take satisfaction in ( I probably should not ) is that there was a  small group of people that targeted me and made it their goal in life to make me miserable. In the time of their declared war against me I never did go after them with the intent of doing permanent damage even though they declared the desire to do me great harm. It was VERY frustrating and even a bit unnerving when I was being threatened that they would use guns.

The wonderful thing about being a child of God and actually praying is that God does answer prayer. As these miscreants made threats, lied about me and even went to my FB friends and told lies I actually prayed for them. Then something strange started happening, spouses started divorcing them, jobs were lost, business deals started going away for them and many other bad things occurred.

I was a bit nervous about a couple of them because while I moved away from almost next door from one of these people I was moving in to the same area as two others. I was threatened and was even told my daughter was not going to be safe but the strangeness continued. Just like roaches when the light is turned on these people have vanished. They no longer are threatening me nor are they even to be seen. The mother of one of them has even ran off and hid on FB instead of the expected threats.

My life could not be better because those who claimed to be great Christians could not face the fire of the truth. The scurried off like the roaches that they were imitating. The simple fact is that prayer, God and the truth makes human bugs run and hide because they will not survive the cleansing power of honesty. I am proud (yes I know I probably should not be) that I never did back down when they attacked but stood firm knowing that the truth was on my side. They may show their face once again but the truth will  always be the proverbial boot that squishes those who cannot handle simple facts.

Just in case you did not know it ... I love Florence Oregon!!

Hate My Blogs?

I really do not feel like writing a blog today. I did have a great time yesterday, I met new friends, old friends and snooped around town. I do have to say that even the underbelly of Florence is great but this still does not inspire me to write about my day so instead I am writing the anti-blog. I will simply make a short list of things that did not happen to me instead of what did happen then I can get on with my day.

1) I have not had a date with Bigfoot.... Yet

2) I did not become the latest lead singer of Van Halen

3) I did not hold a sign up while standing by the side of the street that said "will dance for food"

4) I did not become mayor of the great metropolitan area of Florence

5) I did not run down the 101 naked and screaming that the giant bugs are coming.

This is a short list of things I did not do  yesterday. Today does give me another chance though so if you see me holding a sign wanting to dance for food I hope you will stop and get me a burger... I will warn you though that I do not dance well.