Evil Comes in Many Colors

I must be a real lucky guy, I seem to get into battles with evil beings of every stripe and color. This is actually good news for me because I love the idea of going to war for really no good reason. I guess this makes me some kind of warmongering evil person myself but I will simply claim that I was born this way so you HAVE to accept me as I am.

Last summer I had the wonderful time of going toe to toe with a ground hog, I am not sure that I actually won the war but it eventually gave up and went home, or most probably just found another home that did not have a raving lunatic as a neighbor. This summer I am facing not one but a whole herd of critters that have set out to conquer my yard and set me fuming over their every action.

Raccoons, the size of a medium dog, have invaded the neighborhood. These creatures are not eating the garden yet but have this wonderful ability to tip over trash cans, strew the nastiest parts of it and then leave the rancid garbage for the seagulls to further make a mess. The simple solution would be to lock the cans up but I suppose that would take the fun away.

I am plotting and planning my revenge on this motley crew with a few neighbors. We have even thought that if it comes down to a life and death situation that we would be able to supply the meat for a neighborhood block party. I guess what I should do now is ask my southern friends for a good recipe for BBQ coon ribs.

I will keep you posted as the battles unfold.