The Big Pig

I am changing the names (if I use any) to protect the innocent, the innocent in this case would be me.

I had a meeting with a VERY wealthy developer to do an interview and to discuss the economics of the area and what his plans were. I came in for my appointed meeting and the gentleman was not at his office yet. I was asked to wait and was staring out the window when a $200,000 Mercedes pulled up. I was pretty sure it was the guy because not to many people in OKC can afford such a car.

He came walking in groomed to perfection wearing a custom fit Brooks Brothers and a high end Rolex. He greeted me and asked me to go ahead and grab a seat in his office and he would be there soon. I walked into his office and was amazed at the sophistication of the decor, the office matched the man perfectly. He had the style of the old TV show Remington Steel.

I found a very nice chair, sat down and started looking around the room. In one corner was a large glass case with a very large stuffed pig. This immediately caught my attention because original art work hanging on the walls does not go well with a giant stuffed pig. The thing was no Babe or Porky the Pig this was some gross monstrosity that made me wonder why God would even create such a vile beast. I sat there staring at this thing feeling like I should be paying 50 cents to some tattoo covered guy at the fair for the privilege.

While I was mesmerized by the beast the gentleman came in and he actually startled me. I being a little egotistical and not afraid to ask stupid questions immediately asked him why did he have a worm infested stuffed mutant pig in his office. He grimaced a bit and explained it was not a pig. I looked back over at the animal and was stupid enough to ask him if he were sure.

I will have to say this guy had the politeness of a Mother Teresa but only nicer. He rattled off some name of what the beast actually was and explained he shot it on a hunting trip in Africa. I sat there dumbfounded, I understood why a person would kill such a nasty creature but now I had to figure out why he would then drag the carcass back to the States, have it stuffed and then put it in his office under glass.

He explained in great detail about how it was closer to a rat then a pig and went on and on quite proudly about it. I actually did not listen much because I was focused on the what is now a big rat. When he had a break in his cadence the first thing out of my mouth was "did you try to make any bacon from it?". This took him back a bit and he explained that when they stuffed it they did not give him any of the meat but he would have tried it.

My appointment was for 30 minutes and all we talked about was this big pig. He invited me to go wild boar hunting with him this year and I accepted the offer. He then told me to make another appointment so we could actually discuss what we originally planned.

I decided not to use his name because he has enough power that he could have me shot and the police would not only do nothing about it but would probably give him a medal to boot. Then one day some guy would be in the office looking at a glass case with a giant pig/rat next to yours truly, stuffed and looking pretty scary.