Mutant Crabs

Welcome to the great state of Massachusetts, home of witch trials, drunk Kennedys and mutant creatures that sound like something straight out of The Simpsons. The photo above is of a 3 eyed fish from Argentina (something about a power plant fits into the story) I used the photo of the fish because quite simply I never took any pictures of my mutant crabs.

There were several of us that headed to a beach in Salem not to far from a power plant. The government promises that the water is safe to swim in, catch fish and simply hang out on the beach. We decided to catch a few of the crab around and then let them go, we flipped rocks over and waded through the water and caught tons of them.

The thing that started bothering us were the strange colors that they all were. They came in every color of the rainbow and a few even sported a few extra legs and such. Now I know the color of crabs and even know the number of legs they are supposed to have and these things honestly were freaks. I thought it was kind of funny and just assumed they were an inbred family of shellfish but Judy pointed out how close the power plant was.

I love living here and now that I know that Massachusetts is as cool as The Simpsons and Argentina I am even prouder then ever for choosing to move here.

Hippie Woman

There are days when a guy just has to stand around with his mouth hanging open all day simply because he is so slow on getting pop culture that he just assumes the world went nuts. I seem to be having more and more of these days and I guess it is because I am an ancient guy in my 40s.

I am out in public the other day and I start looking around and noticing all of the neo hippie chicks hanging around and trying to look cool. I go into a store and they have upper end hippie rags plastered all over the store and go into a grocery store and notice how much vegetarian hippie food there is. All of this evil hippie movement of course has driven me to the edge of insanity but hey, this too will pass.

There are a few things I just do not get about the latest hippie craze. The first is why anyone would want to dress and act like some antiquated group from the 60's that burned the brains on drugs and smelled awful because of their lack of showers. This seems to me to be about as smart as trying to look like a person in federal prison or a caveman....... why would you want to do it?

The next thing is simply the big bucks being made by big corporations off these left wing wacko, politically correct protesters. You know the people who scream about all of the rich people but love their mall clothes and would be shocked that teachers in America are part of the top 1% income earners when you count the whole world.

Now I have no problem with vegetarians but I have always wondered why a person who hates the thought of eating meat will go out of their way to buy some food product that tastes, looks and feels like meat but contains nothing even close to animal flesh. To my old and musty brain it seems like it would be like a Jewish person loving bacon flavored potato chips because they contain no bacon and are kosher.

This is the way my poor brain is rambling today...... hopefully I will learn to be hip and cool in the near future and understand these oddities.

Today I Realized I am Old

Over the last couple of days old age completely crept up on me. I do understand that if you are not old like I am then you simply will not understand the concept that old age just jumps out of the bushes and whacks you over the head, knocks you down and when you finally get your old dusty bones working again and manage to get to your feet you realize you are now old.

I do have to tell you that I do not feel any older then last week and I still do the same stupid stuff and consider music stale and old if it was released more then a few months ago but none of that makes me not old. The realization came from my relationship with my wife, I know you would think it would have to with our girls but they all thought we were old more then a decade ago.

There has now been 4 different times in 6 days that has made me face reality.........

I will not go through each eye opening event because it would be to painful (for me to recall and you to read) but I will tell one story very briefly. My sweetheart who still gets guys who are young enough to be her son to rip their head off their neck when she walks by, and I were walking down the beach holding hands. We were not doing anything more then looking for shells, kicking sand and a little flirting when two girls walked up to us and one said " I really hope that when my boyfriend and I are your ages that we can still be in love like you two."

Now, I like that people think we look like a cute couple, smile at us and aspire to have a relationship like we have but when ever I look around and see what I think is an old couple that are "cute" they are like in their 70's...... I guess now it is time for me to wear my paints up to my arm pits, eat dinner at 3:30 and drive like I am in a bumper car and there is nobody else on the street.


But I will still flirt with my wife no matter how old I am.