I am honestly sad to say that the mans divorce is set to be finalized October the 10th. The woman is now off to a new person and who knows what will happen with her.
I have another friend who is going to get divorced. I am really tired of hearing about all of the people who claim to love God with all of their hearts and yet do not love their own spouse. I am in no way suggesting that a person should stick with someone who is cheating, hurting or anything else like that. but I am aiming this directly at people who are the ones who are cheating and hurting those they claim to love.
The most simple rule to marriage is to make sure your spouse is your best friend. When this no longer applies to your marriage then it is probably time to call a divorce lawyer. I receive all types of emails from people and here is one that points out what I am driving at....
"Michael... How did this even happen...I don't know but I wish someone would help me out here...I love my wife...my son...and my life but with ***** I feel something so different!!! I talked to her earlier and I told her that I am in her life forever no matter what path she will choose......I have had many relationships in the past but never in my life has my soul interacted with another soul so deeply...This is not an obsession or just an infatuation but something a lot deeper that I can not quite describe."
This man sent this to me in December and in January his wife filed for divorce and he still cannot figure out why. He blames everyone except himself or the woman of his attraction.
Not to make people think that only men are cads this is one from a woman.
"Michael, I love my best friend with all of my heart. I am willing to do anything for him. I love my parents and children and ***** but they do not understand me. My bff is all I ever think about any more."
This woman is doing the same things as the man. She is actually blaming everyone else but herself for the demise of a marriage. She saw nothing wrong with having a best friend that was married and could not understand why his marriage fell apart after she publicly declared her love for him. She would write on Facebook walls about wanting to play naked with him yet became distraut when questioned by people about her actions.
You should marry your best friend, stay best friends and never look outside of your marriage for that best friend. I would like to say that I have many married women who I have a close relationship with but I NEVER want to be their best friend. That designation should be held for their spouse and only their spouse.
There are two things you should learn from this blog.
1) If you are not married to your best friend then you probably think "divorce must be fun".
2) If you send me an email about how you love your best friend and you are not married to them then I will probably print it so others can see your foolishness.
To my many friends and aquaintences. please find the one you love before you get married. Make that love consist of a life long friendship. Have other friends, spend time with other friends but never let another person take place of who your best friend should be. If you do find a best friend outside of the one you claim to love then you are creating an evil situation.
I know this is ranting but I am actually sick of all the running around by men and women. We are not animals but a special creation of God. If the picture of marriage is likened to Gods relationship with the church then lets remember that God is not running around looking for a better friend then us nor should we be looking for a better friend then God.
Sorry for the blog but enough is enough! I know there will be people mad that I aired their dirty laundry but the fact is you should not write me and tell me about your sins unless you also understand that it was your fault. I do have friends that have made mistakes and are now paying for them but the ones I do not want to hear from are those who willingly create chaos and then try to blame others for it.
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I would like to add that I have found my best friend. When I wrote this I had no idea where I would be at today in my life but I have been blessed with a wondrous woman who I call "best friend" and I will continue to pray for these two people.
ReplyDeleteIt is really sad that this has happened, we all know people like this and also know that neither will be happy for long unless they both change their ways.
ReplyDeleteLB
The kids are the ones who get hurt the most. I know from experience....now it looks like my kids will wind up going through the same...I've always swore to myself I'd never let this happen to them, but when you're the only one thats "in" the marriage all the way, what is there left to do ?
ReplyDeleteI found quite a bit of humor in this blog post. Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteI think this is VERY sad. How can people do this to children?
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that some people do not take their marrage vows seriously. Before I was married I thought long and hard about wheither I wanted to be with the father of my daughter. Yes we had a child out of wedlock, but that was not my sole reason for marrage. I refused to be pressured into marrage just because we were foolish and had sex before marrage and subsiquently ended up with a child.Our oldest daughter was 2 1/2 yrs before I said yes and got married. I took those vows seriously and honored them through much more then some would. Things happened in my marrage that should never happen but with the way the world thinks and acts, it was deemed understandable. I admit I allowed some of it to happen by not confronting my husband at the time. The marrage went down hill over the next 7 years but I still had faith that God will prevail and our marrage could be saved, so I stayed with my husband, until the day I could no longer "turn the other cheek". After 10 yrs of being with my husband (7 years of marrage), 9 times of infidelity and years of physical abuse, I filed for devorce. I sit here wondering why I stayed and went through all those years with him and why I remained true to my marrage vows when he didn't? My only answer to that is my faith in God and His ability to keep my children and I safe. Also just because my husband didn't take his vows seriously doesn't mean that it released me from my vows. I didn't even date for 2 years after my marrage ended and the divorce was final. Just because I was no longer married did not mean my love for him stopped. That took time and to this day, now divorced for 7 years, my ex-husband still has a place in my heart. He is the father of my children and without him, I would not have the children I have today. The love I had for him has now since gone, but that does not change the stamp in my heart, if that makes any sense. I can now date and not feel like I am "cheating" but that took years. My prayer is that others would take their wedding vows more seriously then there wouldn't be as much pain and hurt in lives. Divorce inpacts more then just the couple involved and any children involved. Divorce effects sooo many more that we may not notice or care to admit to.
ReplyDeleteA person should not be expected to stay in a relationship that is abusive mentally, physically or spiritually. I could not even comprehend the torture that must have been.
ReplyDelete