We all have those who wish us harm. These creatures seem to have no morals when they attack and can only be stopped when you shine the light of day on their deep dark hearts. The evil permeates throughout their minds and souls and we, the righteous, have a duty to do what ever it takes to stop them.
In business, we all have those who wish to beat us but usually they are just acting to out maneuver you in work. In social setting you always have at least one person who is just plain nuts and will say whatever sounds the most exciting to them even if it is not true. These individuals you just feel sorry for because their life is so boring that they need to find excitement through gossip.
The true evil creature is the one who comes after you on a personal level, these people can be stalkers, so called friends, neighbors or in my case a ground hog (I still have stalkers but I just laugh at them now). The ground hog seems to taunt me every time he shows up. He devours all of the gardens in the neighborhood, chases the squirrels and I am pretty sure is part of the global warming fiasco, why else would a large rodent be watched to determine when summer is coming.
Because I am a true conservative I do not believe in killing one of God's creatures just for the sake of killing. This was limiting my options so I checked to see if there were any good recipes for ground hog. To my dismay everyone of them sounded like something that the French would pass off as something tasty and well .... French. Thus I cannot kill my enemy but can only plan on taking it down.
I have made a list of things I need as I prepare for the greatest battle of my life. Flashlight, cat carrier, leather gloves, home made trap and several other important items. These may or may not help but at least I feel like I am preparing for the great war. As I am sitting here writing this my great enemy is sitting by the cabbage plants gnawing away, tormenting me with the wit that only a genetically altered rat can have.
I shall prevail, it may take several days and I may not survive myself but my enemy will be brought down at last.
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Gassing the woodchucks didn't turn out right.
ReplyDeleteThe knockout bomb from the Feed and Grain Exchange
was featured as merciful, quick at the bone
and the case we had against them was airtight,
both exits shoehorned shut with puddingstone,
but they had a sub-sub-basement out of range.
Next morning they turned up again, no worse
for the cyanide than we for our cigarettes
and state-store Scotch, all of us up to scratch.
They brought down the marigolds as a matter of course
and then took over the vegetable patch
nipping the broccoli shoots, beheading the carrots.
The food from our mouths, I said, righteously thrilling
to the feel of the .22, the bullets' neat noses.
I, a lapsed pacifist fallen from grace
puffed with Darwinian pieties for killing,
now drew a bead on the little woodchuck's face.
He died down in the everbearing roses.
Ten minutes later I dropped the mother. She
flipflopped in the air and fell, her needle teeth
still hooked in a leaf of early Swiss chard.
Another baby next. O one-two-three
the murderer inside me rose up hard,
the hawkeye killer came on stage forthwith.
There's one chuck left. Old wily fellow, he keeps
me cocked and ready day after day after day.
All night I hunt his humped-up form. I dream
I sight along the barrel in my sleep.
If only they'd all consented to die unseen
gassed underground the quiet Nazi way.
Great comment Lynn
ReplyDeleteGo forth and kill thine enemy.
ReplyDeleteSteven