I Am A Failure And Glad Of It

This introspective, melancholy and soul searching weekend I have realized that I have failed at more things and more often then the average guy. You probably would assume that I would be upset to realize that I am one failure after another but the fact is that I think it is what set me apart from the flock of other people.

I was speaking today to some teenagers and asked a simple question, if you and 1000 other kids were to stand on a football field and you had to describe yourself so someone could find you then could you do it. I then told them not to use clothes, hair, color but to describe who they were..what they were on the inside. They all looked dumbfounded at me and one after the other said "I think deeper, I know the real world, I am a good friend...etc" the same things that all of the other kids said. This meant to me that they claimed to be individualist but actually were just one of a thousand sheep.

A young man raised his hand and asked me if I could do it and it stuck me, I have been more places, seen more things, met more people and enjoyed more things then most but that does not say who I am. I realized that I have done these things just because I am not fearful of failing.

When I fail I fail big I shake the foundations of the earth with my failings. The aftershocks of my failures can last a life time but I will stand up, brush the dust from my clothes and try something new. I maybe sitting in the governors office, sitting on an alter in Peru where human sacrifices occurred, sitting on my face after a nasty fall while sand surfing but I made it there not because of my successes but because of my failures.

I love my failures because I have learned or at least experienced things that I would not have been able to do in the first place. I am one big failure and proud of it. I do not exist in nor will I ever live in an ordinary world of my own creation.

...hopefully I will be back to my normal mood tomorrow.