Am I Dying ?

I have never hid the fact that I am quite the egotist, it seems to be one of the things that I am really good at. I had one of those perfect days for the ego, every guy has one but mine was yesterday. It was the kind of day that inflated my ego to a higher extreme then what even I could have imagined. The whole concept of this high pressure ego inflation is seriously an unbelievable feat considering how much I already value my self worth. I know my day might not have been special to some people but to an average guy or those of us who strive to be average one day it was spectacular.

The magic of the day started as I went to the gym to work out. I would like to say that I am not some heaving mass of muscles but I am just some skinny guy that works out so I never get one of those stomachs that so many guys my age have. I went by myself because my workout buddy has a real job and actually had to listen to his wife and make money instead of hanging out with me. I entered the building and I immediately was invited to join two ladies to work out with. That is always a bit unnerving because it would be bad for the ego if they out did you.

I had a great workout and the ladies were nice enough to act impressed at my feeble attempts at mochoism. I stood around talking for a few minutes after the regiment, showered, clean clothes adorned and it stunned me, I was a big hit with the ladies. I had several want to workout with me the next day and two of them gave me their phone numbers without even a nudge or prodding on my behalf. To say the very least I left the building feeling quite pumped.

The day proceeded on this course of bizarreness that would even make Alice in Wonderland seem like Ben Stein reading  calculus equations. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up man supplies (meat) and an elegant Asian woman decided to show me how to get the butcher to give me the best cut of meat. I really did not see anything special she did but WOW it was a great cut. She then gave my  a slip of paper with her phone number and explained that she would love to help me shop anytime I wanted. She even went further and explained that she also liked to eat out of Friday nights and could use a date this Friday.

This went on and on throughout the day. Women all day long seemed to think I was a mixture of a guy with the body of the old  Arnold Schwarzenegger and the class and style of Pierce Brosnan.  Five phone numbers and many nice conversations later I made it home. I did what every guy would do after a day like that, I ran in and look to see if someone had slapped a sign on my back that said I was dying and could you please be kind to me.

I honestly have no explanation for the day I had, I do understand that it is normal for most men to be given a phone number or be hit on maybe a 2-3  times a week. Being approached by a beautiful woman is at the most a once a week event for me, like I said I am striving to be at least average one day though.

Then the whole absurdity of this situation hit me. I had my once a year good looking day in a town that I am getting ready to leave. How God must be laughing at my pride when he gave me yesterday as the day to attract women because I will never even have the opportunity to see them again. So, today I feel normal. I do not think I am going to be the proverbial babe magnet. People will smile politely, maybe say hello but there will not be an onrush of beautiful women clamoring for my attention.

I assume I need to learn that ancient skill called flirting. There is not a class for it and I am beleaguered by the whole prospect of learning such a skill. I will forage on to learn how to flirt because I am sure a day like this where women are the one who approach me will be a rare thing. Please do not make fun of my new feeble attempts as I try and learn how to flirt and do not worry, I am just practicing. 

The nice thing about yesterday...... there was no note on my back announcing my eminent death. I just had my one day of looking good for the year.