Why Oklahoma Is Kicking Me Out of the State

I was born in Oklahoma, I went to college in Oklahoma and started my different companies in Oklahoma but it has become obvious that the state hates me and wants me to leave. I am not really sure why, I have the guttural language down with the grunts and nasal whistles that are required and when I was 14 I even owned a pair of cowboy boots. The biggest proof of being a true Okie is the fact that I once heard a country song and I did not go insane from the intense idiocy waves that emanated from the speakers.

The down fall of my acceptance in the grand state of Oklahoma started a while back. I was talking with my father this morning about an event that occurred that put me on my path to shame. He and I went to a hospital to visit a friend, nothing special just a drop by to say hi and then leave. We entered the elevator with one other gentleman who seemed a little distressed. I started talking with him and he explained why he was there and how he was worried.

We all got off on the same floor and since my father is a preacher he asked if we could all pray together for the wellness of the person he was going to see and for himself too. This went just like any other event of prayer in a hospital, nothing special. We parted ways and visited the friend. The friend really wanted to talk to my dad alone so I left the room and was hanging out by the elevators. The guy who rode up with us had finished his visit and we both started standing around and just chatting.

He seemed like a nice guy but he was dressed like a cowboy, I never understood why a grown man would still dress like he was a 5 year old playing cowboys and Indians but I digress. We talked for 20-30 minutes about nothing really but just two guys a little stressed because of people we loved in the hospital. My Father came out of the hospital room and we were ready to go.

All three of us stood waiting for the elevator and as the doors opened a nurse tugged my arm and asked if she could speak with me. My father and the gentleman went ahead and entered the elevator with my dad saying he would wait for me down stairs. the nurse then asked "could you PLEASE get me an autograph of your friend?". I had no idea what she meant.

The nurse looked a little irked and said that she was a HUGE fan and was to nervous to ask him but since I was his friend could I please get one for her. Once again I had no idea what she was talking about. The Nurse said "Garth Brooks, your friend. Will you get an autograph for me". I looked her straight in the eyes and told her the truth.  " I have no idea what you are talking about or even who or what a Garth Brooks is".

With the loud groan coming from the nurse and the glare from everybody who was with in ear shot I realized at that moment I was no longer welcome in the state of my birth. When people ask why I am moving I think it may just be to escape from those who hate me because I did not know who or what a Garth Brooks was.